Numbness Continues

I don't think amending laws will make much difference to any of this. Law comes into picture only when an incident of deserving proportion takes place and there is no practical way in which we can stop incidents, small or big, from occurring. It is not easy to keep track of every woman and every lane she passes by. I don't even think it's easy to change what has been instilled for ages in this society. It is not easy to change the mindset of people, men and women alike. Why talk about society as a separate entity, when I hear similar thoughts expressed by people around me - people I have known for decades - and there is nothing I can do to convince them into accepting the fact that there is a need to change the way people think and behave. It is because we, the people, make the society and the system. Nothing else. 

Numb

When I saw Facebook asking me "How are you feeling, Indu?" in its Update Status box today, I felt like screaming to the loudest I can that I feel depressed, angry, frustrated and a lot more. And, this is just a wee bit of what I want to vent.

"It took a death for the nation to awaken, for people to think about change in society, for the Legislation to amend laws and for everything else that needed to change in this country. All this because of the death of a woman we have never met in our lives. The whole nation took this tragedy personally so much so that everybody across the country stood united as brothers and sisters for that one woman we don't even know the name of. But, I thank God for taking her into his arms to protect her for eternity. There is nothing left to be given to her now. There is no point in living half paralyzed and crumpled for the rest of her life. Before you try to judge my morals, I want to admit that I feel the loss too. I feel like I have lost somebody I admire. I feel like I have lost myself, in this country of injustice, inequality, corruption, casteism and now RAPE. Yes, this is the country I live in and this is my country. Sadly, there ain't any pride left now to make this statement.

It is not about this one incident. I was shocked to read statistics which say that a woman is raped every 22 minutes in India. Out of which, most of them go unnoticed, unreported. In most of the cases, women hesitate to approach police for fear of further harassment or most of them drop out in the middle for the same reason. All of this happening in the same country and the same society which proclaims worship of women as its culture.

Disparity, insensitivity and a thousand more adjectives to name. Yes, this is my country and this is the country I live in. And these are the people I breathe along with."

Numb out of no suffering. Period.

Beat the Blues

I wrote the first stanza and the interlude sometime last year and then I didn't know what else to write and how to complete it, because I never experienced physical violence - not a bit of it. I also did not care to step into someone else's shoes to witness it like I usually do for some of my other writings. But, when I read about what a certain girl was put through, 1500 KM away from here, I did not have to think. The words just came by. I experienced trauma. I experienced violence for the first time in my life. I felt like I was in a state of agitation; I still am. I cried. I cried because I felt helpless. I cried because I am a woman too. And, I cried because there was nothing I could do.

This is how this writing was born and done to death, thereupon.

You manipulated me, exerted me

Constructed your alter ego
You construed my silence
And projected me as helpless

Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me
Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me

You depressed my spirit
Unleashed wrath against my wit
You turned my pain into pleasure
Shook me up and left me to wither

Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me
Again…
Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me

The anger, the madness
Is all gone now
There is some quietness
With the ripples I feel now
There’s no dread no more
I scream no more
The whispers too
Will die down with time

Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me
Again…
Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me
I say…
One more time
Beat me, Beat me
Beat the blues out of me

Helloo

Hello, if there's anybody reading this. One year of inactivity. That's too much! I still remember my password to Blogger. :D
May be I should make a silent comeback sometime :)