Life is getting bored these days- exams, exams and nothing more. I’ve finished reading a Telugu novel and am not able to decide regarding the next one. I have ‘Made in Japan’ by Akio Morita and a Telugu book ‘Kanyasulkam’ by the great Gurajada Apparao. For the uninitiated, let me tell you that he was the one who fought against child-marriages. There is also ‘God of Small Things’ by Arundhati Roy, which has been with me for quite sometime now.
I am planning to take a break from all these exams and the hefty academic stuff. In the second week of March, we will be going to Lucknow. I will talk of my journey after I return. Just one more year, and I will successfully come out as an engineer!
(Hopefully that I complete it in proper time). :D
February 27, 2005
February 26, 2005
Deep impacts of the great!
I have experienced this many a time. Today it leaped out knowing no bounds. I have always admired Swami Vivekananda. My so-called library boasts of two books on him-one by an Indian author and the other by a British. I must have read the first one many times. Whenever I go for a morning walk, I pass by the Ramakrishna math located at a medium distance away from my house. The main door of the math remains open all the time. It was built such that one can get a 60 degree angle view of the inner math from the main gate itself or from the road leading to it.
The first glimpse one gets when one enters through the main gate is that of a huge portrait of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, sitting calm in the traditional cross-legged way (the posture of the padmasana in yoga) in deep meditation. Whenever I look at the portrait and its surroundings, I feel in harmony with them. Today, it surpassed all the bounds of the rigid human nature- its apprehensions, worries and doubts. I experienced such tranquility that for a moment I felt awed at the very thought of what it was doing to me. I made my way out of that place in spite of the urge to go inside. I wonder what it would have been like had I stepped inside.
It is Vivekananda who has always captured me with his principles of sociability and universal religion-humanity, more than Paramahamsa. But, may be a guru is much more wise and knowledgeable than his student. And, all that a student learns and preaches is in fact something that he inherits from his guru himself. So, if you adore or worship a person, then his/her guru is more worthy of being worshiped.
The first glimpse one gets when one enters through the main gate is that of a huge portrait of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, sitting calm in the traditional cross-legged way (the posture of the padmasana in yoga) in deep meditation. Whenever I look at the portrait and its surroundings, I feel in harmony with them. Today, it surpassed all the bounds of the rigid human nature- its apprehensions, worries and doubts. I experienced such tranquility that for a moment I felt awed at the very thought of what it was doing to me. I made my way out of that place in spite of the urge to go inside. I wonder what it would have been like had I stepped inside.
It is Vivekananda who has always captured me with his principles of sociability and universal religion-humanity, more than Paramahamsa. But, may be a guru is much more wise and knowledgeable than his student. And, all that a student learns and preaches is in fact something that he inherits from his guru himself. So, if you adore or worship a person, then his/her guru is more worthy of being worshiped.
Glimpses of them.
I can still recall some of the stories about Vivekananda from that book which enthralled me long back. I’ll share them with you.
Vivekananda’s original name was Narendra as his parents named him. Narendra as a child was very sharp, intelligent and mischievous too. His father was a criminal lawyer with lot of good-will among people. Many eminent literates used to come to their house and hold discussions on many topics- mostly religion, literature and politics. Narendra also used to sit with them and listen attentively to everything, posing questions once in a while to which he only used to get a smile or a pat in answer. One day after the usual discussion session, he sneaks into the room meant for his father’s clients and takes a puff from the hookahs meant for the Muslim clients, unaware of the fact that his father was watching him from behind the door. Later, he goes to the mirror at one corner of the room, and looks suspiciously at his thin figure in the mirror. Not able to resist his curiosity, his father comes out and asks Narendra what he was doing. To which Narendra replies that he was trying to see whether there was any change in him after he smoked the hookah meant for the Muslims who were considered as untouchables in his high-rank family. Then and there itself his father realizes that his son is no ordinary child.
The second story happens when Narendra turns into Vivekananda after his sanyas. Once, when he goes on a walk, he sees a dalit (untouchable then) man on the road, smoking hookah happily. At that sight, Vivekananda also feels an urge to take a puff from it. He approaches him to make a request to fulfill his urge. But, suddenly he remembers all those traditional values he was always asked to inherit as a child. For a moment, he hesitates and starts to make a move out of that place. The very next moment he feels ashamed of his thought and approaches the man again and asks him to let him have a puff too. The man hesitates too at first but later obliges Vivekananda after the latter’s assurance to him.
Another story was about the unselfishness of Vivekananda, which goes something like this. Once, after his father’s death and buried deep in debts, Narendra approaches Ramakrishna Paramahamsa to help him find some solutions to his unending household problems. Paramahamsa obliges him to visit goddess Kali’s temple and make a wish. Narendra immediately goes to the temple and sits in front of the goddess’ statue. After sitting there for about two hours he returns to Paramahamsa and starts crying. Paramahamsa, knowing everything beforehand just greets him with a smile and asks him the reason for his sadness. To which Narendra replies that though he went there to ask maa Kali a boon, he could not ask her anything for himself even after being with her for two hours and that he felt ashamed of his selfishness. He says that he could not ask maa Kali anything for his selfish needs and was spell-bound by the serenity she provided him with. Paramahamsa embraces him and then he gives him the name Vivekananda and bestows the honour of being his core disciple.
And, there are many other beautiful stories, which are sure to make an indelible impact on the readers, if only they read them with interest.
Vivekananda’s original name was Narendra as his parents named him. Narendra as a child was very sharp, intelligent and mischievous too. His father was a criminal lawyer with lot of good-will among people. Many eminent literates used to come to their house and hold discussions on many topics- mostly religion, literature and politics. Narendra also used to sit with them and listen attentively to everything, posing questions once in a while to which he only used to get a smile or a pat in answer. One day after the usual discussion session, he sneaks into the room meant for his father’s clients and takes a puff from the hookahs meant for the Muslim clients, unaware of the fact that his father was watching him from behind the door. Later, he goes to the mirror at one corner of the room, and looks suspiciously at his thin figure in the mirror. Not able to resist his curiosity, his father comes out and asks Narendra what he was doing. To which Narendra replies that he was trying to see whether there was any change in him after he smoked the hookah meant for the Muslims who were considered as untouchables in his high-rank family. Then and there itself his father realizes that his son is no ordinary child.
The second story happens when Narendra turns into Vivekananda after his sanyas. Once, when he goes on a walk, he sees a dalit (untouchable then) man on the road, smoking hookah happily. At that sight, Vivekananda also feels an urge to take a puff from it. He approaches him to make a request to fulfill his urge. But, suddenly he remembers all those traditional values he was always asked to inherit as a child. For a moment, he hesitates and starts to make a move out of that place. The very next moment he feels ashamed of his thought and approaches the man again and asks him to let him have a puff too. The man hesitates too at first but later obliges Vivekananda after the latter’s assurance to him.
Another story was about the unselfishness of Vivekananda, which goes something like this. Once, after his father’s death and buried deep in debts, Narendra approaches Ramakrishna Paramahamsa to help him find some solutions to his unending household problems. Paramahamsa obliges him to visit goddess Kali’s temple and make a wish. Narendra immediately goes to the temple and sits in front of the goddess’ statue. After sitting there for about two hours he returns to Paramahamsa and starts crying. Paramahamsa, knowing everything beforehand just greets him with a smile and asks him the reason for his sadness. To which Narendra replies that though he went there to ask maa Kali a boon, he could not ask her anything for himself even after being with her for two hours and that he felt ashamed of his selfishness. He says that he could not ask maa Kali anything for his selfish needs and was spell-bound by the serenity she provided him with. Paramahamsa embraces him and then he gives him the name Vivekananda and bestows the honour of being his core disciple.
And, there are many other beautiful stories, which are sure to make an indelible impact on the readers, if only they read them with interest.
February 24, 2005
Easy commenting
Finally the blogger people have introduced something which was really wanted. I was longing to have a pop-up comment box and was about to shift to haloscan. The blogger fellows should have done this long back. Better late than never. Previously, only registered blogger users were allowed to comment in their blogs apart from the anonymous option, which usually most of the readers don’t like to prefer. Now that the easy-to-comment facility has been made handy, I don’t think anybody should have a problem commenting in blogger pages.
By the way, who said that writers write for others to read it? At least I don’t write for others. I write for myself. I wrote and will always write the way I feel like writing. Nobody can stop me from doing that. Moreover, its my blog. I don’t compel others to read my stuff. I will keep writing no matter if they read it or not. If someone reads my blog, then he/she is most welcome. Not only to read but also to comment! :D
By the way, who said that writers write for others to read it? At least I don’t write for others. I write for myself. I wrote and will always write the way I feel like writing. Nobody can stop me from doing that. Moreover, its my blog. I don’t compel others to read my stuff. I will keep writing no matter if they read it or not. If someone reads my blog, then he/she is most welcome. Not only to read but also to comment! :D
February 20, 2005
Just like that
I wasn't online all these days. I had loads of work at hand. Exams are going to start from tomorrow. Now, they will have a chance to feel mightier than the student who burn midnight (me?) lamps to crack them! :D
Did nothing much today other than studying a bit of what is required to (at least) sit for the exam tomorrow. I went for a morning walk (usually I haven't time to do so on weekdays). It helped me in a way. A very beautiful poem struck my mind. I also wondered how nature could provide us with such beauty. May be that is what nature is all about- beauty.
Exams will last up until a week from tomorrow. I have taken innumerable number of them till now. I'll try to figure them out one day, if I find nothing better to do!
Did nothing much today other than studying a bit of what is required to (at least) sit for the exam tomorrow. I went for a morning walk (usually I haven't time to do so on weekdays). It helped me in a way. A very beautiful poem struck my mind. I also wondered how nature could provide us with such beauty. May be that is what nature is all about- beauty.
Exams will last up until a week from tomorrow. I have taken innumerable number of them till now. I'll try to figure them out one day, if I find nothing better to do!
February 16, 2005
Nerd??
Well, I got this inspite of my lack of interest towards technical fields (by the way, that is what I am studying now!)
Anne Frank!
Last week I read ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’ which is described as a touching and ever lasting personal document during the world war. It was a good book. Mainly, when you think of someone who had to hide for nearly twenty-five months, getting bored, always having the desire to go out and breathe fresh air, etc. and etc., you will really be amazed at their guts and confidence of surely getting freed from the German (Hitler) monopoly one day.
This was the first time that I read anything wholly regarding the violence, monopoly and terror against the Jews in the 1940’s. The descriptions about the inhuman actions against them and the way the Germans terrorized them under the rule of Hitler has touched me somewhere in my heart. I really don’t understand why any person should strive to get hold of supreme power over others. Why should anyone have the desire to rule people and that too with such cruelty? May be that is why the Hitler empire broke down in few years.
But not all contexts in the book are regarding the war. It also portrays the fine threads between relationships, the shaping of the mind of a girl who just becomes an adolescent, her thoughts and her life she leads along with seven other people at a place called ‘Secret Annexe’. The most terrible part being that after they hide for twenty-five months and when new hopes of liberty rise in their minds, their news of hiding gets betrayed to the Gestapo(German police) by a Dutch informer just for the sake of a very small amount of money. On the whole, it is worth reading.
February 11, 2005
Times change, so do people!
I myself wonder that I’ve become somewhat philosophical these days. Want any proof? Read ahead. This was my comment on one of the posts in someone else’s blog. Don’t wonder!
...
“Self is re-incarnation of truth”.I’m no preacher. But, as far as I know I’ll preach (now whatever that will mean to you). This is what I have learned all these years in my life. When you talk of being masked in front of others or when you have to live with them, the question here is really not of getting masked or something. But, it is much more concerned with the fact that you conceal your self or veil it when you start mingling with people, who, most of the times are quite different from you. And, you do this either to see yourself happy in their company or to see them happy in yours.
I said re-incarnation because every time you sit for yourself and start seeking answers for those questions for which answers can be sought not from anyone else but from ‘you’, you will face what is called ‘truth’- an eternal truth, an inevitable truth and an indefensible truth- of the purpose of your existence, of your belief in this purpose and in others who will make you realize this very purpose, of the realization of your capabilities and limitations as well, of every minute thing that can make you or break you.
This truth is something which will come to you only when you start searching for it. So, every time you try to unveil this truth, you will in turn unveil your ‘self’. And, when you realize your ‘self’, you yourself realize the ‘truth’ which will lead you to that very purpose or many other purposes you define for yourself. All this will hold only when you are honest with yourself. But, if you defy your conscience, then it is something which nobody can help you at, not even ‘you’.
...
“Self is re-incarnation of truth”.I’m no preacher. But, as far as I know I’ll preach (now whatever that will mean to you). This is what I have learned all these years in my life. When you talk of being masked in front of others or when you have to live with them, the question here is really not of getting masked or something. But, it is much more concerned with the fact that you conceal your self or veil it when you start mingling with people, who, most of the times are quite different from you. And, you do this either to see yourself happy in their company or to see them happy in yours.
I said re-incarnation because every time you sit for yourself and start seeking answers for those questions for which answers can be sought not from anyone else but from ‘you’, you will face what is called ‘truth’- an eternal truth, an inevitable truth and an indefensible truth- of the purpose of your existence, of your belief in this purpose and in others who will make you realize this very purpose, of the realization of your capabilities and limitations as well, of every minute thing that can make you or break you.
This truth is something which will come to you only when you start searching for it. So, every time you try to unveil this truth, you will in turn unveil your ‘self’. And, when you realize your ‘self’, you yourself realize the ‘truth’ which will lead you to that very purpose or many other purposes you define for yourself. All this will hold only when you are honest with yourself. But, if you defy your conscience, then it is something which nobody can help you at, not even ‘you’.
February 07, 2005
Why I don't like films..
watched ‘geet gaaya patharon ne’ in the afternoon. I watched it before, long back. Don’t remember when. So, I watched it again today. It’s such a good film with beautiful songs, especially the title song. One hardly comes across such films today. Not even the kind of meaningful lyrics written in those days. Every film nowadays depicts the same ‘boy falls for a girl’ (sometimes the other way round too!) kind of themes. And, whenever I hear the music and all the beats and ridiculous lyrics, I feel so irritated and sometimes I laugh at them. Maybe, that is why I don’t like movies being run these days.
The true essence of film-making is gone. Now, you will be surprised if I say that I might have watched hardly ten films in the last couple of years. And, the morale of it- I didn’t like even one. They were just testing my patience rather than providing me with any sort of entertainment or relaxation. I don’t like even the subtle humour used nowadays. I don’t know how others manage to watch such films and moreover make them huge hits!
I wonder how people tell others about the standard of a film, whether or not it’s good. I always wanted to know how they rate films and on what basis they say all that. Maybe, they just go with their personal feel regarding the film. But, a personal opinion is ubiquitously personal. Then, why do they try and rub their opinions on me? Least do they know that I never consider other’s opinion for deciding whether or not to watch a film. At least, I won’t end up wasting three hours of precious time and there would be no need for me at all to repent later. And, that’s something I hate doing.
The true essence of film-making is gone. Now, you will be surprised if I say that I might have watched hardly ten films in the last couple of years. And, the morale of it- I didn’t like even one. They were just testing my patience rather than providing me with any sort of entertainment or relaxation. I don’t like even the subtle humour used nowadays. I don’t know how others manage to watch such films and moreover make them huge hits!
I wonder how people tell others about the standard of a film, whether or not it’s good. I always wanted to know how they rate films and on what basis they say all that. Maybe, they just go with their personal feel regarding the film. But, a personal opinion is ubiquitously personal. Then, why do they try and rub their opinions on me? Least do they know that I never consider other’s opinion for deciding whether or not to watch a film. At least, I won’t end up wasting three hours of precious time and there would be no need for me at all to repent later. And, that’s something I hate doing.
February 06, 2005
This child never cries!
All this happened last month. I just recalled it somehow, today. Quite a weird experience altogether. I shall keep it short and give you just the very essence of what all happened. Last month, a three-day ‘Indian Science Congress’ fair took place. Our prof., Dr. Subhas asked us if we were interested in taking part in it. I do not know what made him do that but finally I was selected to do a project (thank god! the choice of project was left to us). Each of us (there were five) was asked to do something different from the others. We had to meet the deadline which was just a week later.
I had few things in mind. Actually, I started off with a water-level indicator but I had to stop in between as I couldn’t get two of the very important components which go into it. In the end, I started working on ‘theft alarm’, the one usually used in museums. I wasted three days for the first uncompleted device. So, I had just three days left to complete the latter. I completed it within the deadline. I faced some problems with the welding though. On the final day I thought of testing my brain-child. Before I go into explaining the results, let me elucidate the phenomenon regarding its working, for the uninitiated. The main component in it is the light sensitive resistor or simply LED. As the name goes, it is very sensitive to light. So, when light falls on it, it gets activated or putting it in simple words, it eventually passes current.
I placed all this circuitry neatly arranged in a treasure box. When the lid of the box is lifted, an alarm goes off. Everything was ready and I started to test it. The first attempt was successful. I felt very happy. I closed and opened it again. And, to my utter despair, I found that the alarm did not go off. I reopened the circuitry section and checked everything. First I thought the speaker was dead but, it worked well when I checked it with some other device. I re-checked everything- every nook and cranny. It was already 11:30pm and I had to submit it the very next morning. I was so tensed up that I overlooked one of the connections leading to the speaker. It wasn’t properly soldered and that made it a loose contact. I winded up everything and went to sleep.
Next morning, I woke up and soldered it again. I packed everything neatly and went to college. Two of the boys were already present with their devices ready there. I told my prof. that everything was alright and I just needed few more minutes to re-check it. When I opened it again for the last time, I was shocked. The alarm did not go off again. I felt hopeless. I had to submit it within five minutes. My prof. somehow came to know of it all. He came to me and said that it was absolutely alright and I need not feel so bad for it. After all, he had the others’ devices handy. At the last moment I withdrew my submission.
I did not feel like staying at the fair anymore and came back in couple of hours. After reaching home, the first thing I did was to lift the lid of the box. And to my aghast, the alarm went off in a shriek. I couldn’t do anything further but for shutting the lid tightly.
February 04, 2005
Bookworm eh?
Thanks to xyz, my friends think I have undergone a weird transformation lately (at least swetha thought that way). She said that I am going to become a bookworm if I continue reading at this pace. But, frankly speaking I never liked that word, leave alone becoming one. Now, I talk less with others and am doing more of introspection. If you ask me whether or not it will help, then it does most of the time. At least, I find solace in similar acts because now I get to spend more time for myself and for the poetess in me (now whatever that will mean to you!).
Maybe, swetha is correct. I have changed. This time it is only for me and I like it. And, all this will work only when you stop bothering about the thought of what others think of you. Thanks to xyz, it is working for me. Now, if you ask me what this xyz is then I myself don’t know what it is. But, don’t you worry. I will find it out soon. :D
Maybe, swetha is correct. I have changed. This time it is only for me and I like it. And, all this will work only when you stop bothering about the thought of what others think of you. Thanks to xyz, it is working for me. Now, if you ask me what this xyz is then I myself don’t know what it is. But, don’t you worry. I will find it out soon. :D
February 03, 2005
Small library!
My long cherished dream is beginning to take shape finally. I have always dreamed of having a personal library. The first list includes twenty books in all, ranging from autobiographies to fiction and history to science, most of them being those which have been universally acclaimed. I realized my love for reading lately. That does not mean that I never read in my life. But, now I read a lot. I wish to have a huge library all of my own. And, for that I really hope I will start earning soon.
I will soon put up the list of books that I own. Just a few more additions and the first list will be done and then you can get to know my collection. You will have to wait till then! :D
I will soon put up the list of books that I own. Just a few more additions and the first list will be done and then you can get to know my collection. You will have to wait till then! :D
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