Win or lose?

Sometimes we expect unexpected things from others, just to prove ourselves correct. We expect them to do something wrong which we usually anticipate. But, somewhere in our sub-conscious mind, we hope it never happens. Take the example of our being searched at Kasi for cameras and mobile phones. I had mentioned this in one of my earlier posts- U.P. journey briefed-II.

I always felt that most of the Indian police are not duty-minded and sincere courtesy the corruption that is growing day-by-day, knowing no bounds. I was pretty sure that the security personnel will fail to take notice of our camera. I expected them to fail because I didn’t want them to defy conformity and win against me. Yet, I desperately wanted myself to be proved wrong because I always had this pseudo-image of police in mind wherein, they never fail.

It was like a catch-22 situation. If I had won, they would have failed (which means my failure because I wanted them to win) and if I had lost, then they would have won (which again leads to my failure because my expectations would have gone wrong then). It was neither a win/win nor a win/lose situation, but was an absolute lose/lose situation. No matter what they did- whether they succeeded or not- I would’ve lost, anyway. However, I would’ve felt happier had it happened the other way round, i.e. getting my expectations proved wrong. But, then, not every time one can win or lose. Sometimes it happens like this too.

“We expect things to be wrong. But, in the end we realize that it is not the things that went wrong but it was we who were on the wrong side of the game.”